Because it’s a slow news day, here’s me standing in my lovely friend Karen’s backyard wearing a Shandy Hat. And drinking champagne. Try to get your head around that.
Mmmm … yes. Quite.
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Ozzie? That you?
Here’s Hoss before taking stage at The Rail with his band Fleetwood Mac The Cheaper Hits. He’s got kind of a Hamm’s Cowl going on, no? Now that’s art.
Umm … right.
No comment.
The Happy Couple …
Say hello to the happy couple, Forty and Twizzler. In another episode of “Arts ‘n Crafts w/ Coulter”, we see that he’s made himself a nice smiley Hamm’s Hat. He looks kinda angry though there underneath — or serious — but who can tell.
Ok, I’m sorry to have subjected you to that ugly mug, so here’s his beautiful wife, Twizzler!
I swear it’s a match made in heaven, assuming that match is an attractive young lady, and a pudgy, stout alcoholic who tells dick jokes.
Awwww … wedded bliss.
It keeps getting better and better.
Welcome to August. And what better way to launch the birth of a new month but with one of the best Hamm’s Hats yet to date. I would have never imagined the lengths folks would go to in their quest for the ultimate Hamm’s Hat … I swear the thing has a life of its own.
And so, I present to you, the Hamm’s Hat Hamm’s Hat, lovingly crafted by Hoss himself. He laments that the ‘S’ is backwards, but really. I think we can throw out the opinion of the East German judge and give this one a solid 10, baby!! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to Mickey D’s, down some Buds, and hit up Subway with Apollo Ohgosh.
Eetz Not A Tooom-ah!
So here’s Brick who made himself a nice Predator Hamm’s Hat. At least that’s how I interpreted this. See the mandibles? Although his left one looks a little limp. Maybe he should go see a Predator dentist. I really don’t know how that all works. Invisalign? Huh? What?
Regal Trent
Here’s Trent enjoying a delicious Hamm’s after a hard day of watching Jeopardy. Doesn’t he look relaxed and content? Maybe it’s the HAT. I bet it’s the hat. Mmmmm … hat-y.
Hamm’s, uh, Helmet?
So here I am trying to do the Superman thing. (Pay no attention to the fact that my legs are vertical, or that they are in contact with the floor.) I was kinda going for some kind of wind-tunnel hat thing, but it didn’t really pull off like I had hoped.
Here I am banking right …
… and now I’m flying to the jukebox so I can use my X-ray eyeballs to burn a hole in that insidious diabolical contraption from hell. But I digress. (No I don’t — I hate that fucking thing. I’d rather play the ATM machine.)
Dragon Dan!
Well, things keep getting more and more interesting. I don’t know if I should be titillated, or run screaming, but we’ve *ahem* created a monster.
Yes, our good buddy Dan made a “Dragon” Hamm’s Hat. At least that’s what I was told it was … It’s clearly some kind of evil looking monster complete with sharp pointy fangs and a forked tongue. Impressive indeed. Here’s another shot of it:
But it ain’t a Hamm’s Hat, if it ain’t a hat, so let’s get on with it.
“Oops — I dropped something.”
This shit’s getting cray-zee!!
Gibby!
“Been farmin’ long?”