Thanksgiving!!!

Turkey Day 2014!

Good times had by all who not only stayed awake after eating but felt that alcoholic urge to get drunk after eating. Lots of hats won this year, surprisingly though, none of them Hamm’s Hats. Enjoyable none the less however.

First off, Big Black who drank enough Sam Adam’s to start some sort of a revolution against the British all in the name of America! and Thanksgiving!tdaybigblack

As the evening progressed things got more and more exciting obviously and our creator Steakhouse decided to defy the gods and risk a very messy incident. Boy was it exciting though! America!!

tdaysteakhouse

Now the creative side of the bar took over and this guy did something nobody had seen before, a puppet…made from a case of Busch Light. It could even give a blank expression, good stuff.

tdaytodd

And by now hopefully I have bored Fote into a nap and he has given up on reading this post… If he is still reading, we were totally closed when this happened trust me!!tdayme

Another successful holiday at the Brass Rail. Have any pictures we don’t? send them to us!

 

Big Black Fashion Show

Here we see Big Black strutting her stuff like all Fashionistas do. Is that even a word? I have no idea. And in retrospect, it probably shouldn’t be, but when you have words like “Chillax” and “Diphthong”, well, I guess anything goes.

Let’s watch.

I feel like I’m on an airline circa nineteen-hundred-and-mad-men waiting for my Old Fashioned served by a stewardess flight-attendant. Sorry. I’ll sit on the racist side of the bar. Wait a minute — that’s not racist … just old-fashioned! Ha! See what I did there?

Nish-nish. [phrase blatantly stolen from Hoffrey.]

P.S.: River Rat is not doing his duties. I’m very VERY disappointed.

Frat Formal 2013

Caw!

Sure … there’s the Oscars, there’s the Grammys, there’s even the Nobel Prize celebration. All of have these have lasted for decades, and, well, so has the Pi Omega Omega Formal, which dates back to 1372. I think it was Pope Gregory the XI, who, after downing a couple shots of rail gin, said unto-est Moose, “do that shit.”

And so, Moose did, and low and behold, we have this wonderful tradition that has spanned countless bars centuries. I shit-est thou not.

This year the festivities were held at work. And when I say “work”, I mean, of course, none other than the venerable Brass Rail. DJ Otter was on the beats, Tumbleweed and Hideout were bartending, …

… and everyone was, OF COURSE, dressed to the nines enjoying their respective wives. There were also some new inductees into the frat, including, but not limited to: Tyrant, Hi-ho Silver (not sure about that one …), and Lightning, the last of which was bestowed on Greg, the only man I know who will wait outside the Rail at 8:45a in freezing cold weather for a Pepsi. Believe me when I say — Fu Dog doesn’t open them doors til 9 o’clock SHARP.

Let’s begin:

Here’s Hoss and Gibby. Hoss is being Hoss; Gibby is being, well, Gibby.

Trent and Cool-whip looking quite regal … nice tie!

New York, Moose, Cool-whip, and Skater lookin’ sharp.

Gibby & Skid, cuttin’ a rug …

Steakhouse & Margarita …

Big Black! … amongst others.

But hands down, the real winner of the evening was none other than Slim Jim himself. Seriously: Formals have been held ALL over town. So the last thing anyone expected was when Mr. Yamamoto himself strutted in WEARING A GODDAMN FUCKING SUIT. Sans hat; sans belt (of the red variety); sans stapled to plastic packing material. And I cannot stress this enough: KEITH WAS THE MAN OF THE HOUR.

Huh?

Pssht. I don’t get it. That doesn’t add up.

So … Apple makes iPhones, and HP makes printers, right?

He almost looks like he’s smiling (i.e., not confused) in this shot with Bermuda …

There is a running theory that Keith has an IQ of 172, and his perpetual puzzlement is all an act. Judging by how he looked that night, there may be some truth to that.

Yaaaaaaay, Slim Jim!

And last but not least, there was a fucking Hamm’s Hat. Once again, relevance prevails.

Caw!

WTF.

And now in the realm of completely inexplicable things, there’s been this strange phenomenon at “Work”, as opposed to “The Library”, “The Marriage Counseling Center”, or “Church.” (Ed.: If you don’t what the fuck I just said, ask Moose.) Anyway, one day I’m sitting at the The Rail, and River Rat yanks out this gigantic bottle of Hawaiian Punch from the cooler. I don’t think I’ve seen that shit since I was 12. Or 38. Who knows. So I ask, “what the fuck?” River Rat proceeds to explain that someone brought in a whole bunch of Hawaiian Punch. It might have been Tumbleweed, I don’t recall.

“What do you mean a whole bunch?”

“I mean a whole bunch.”

To wit:

Note Big Black looking on in curiosity. And what the hell is that middle one. Hawaiian Punch Light!? Seriously? Sure — instead of feeding your kids scoopfuls of sugar, let’s just pump them up with artificial chemicals instead.

“Here”, River Rat says, as he polishes off a pony of punch …

“Yah know, River Rat … that would make an excellent hat.”

“Indeed it would, Steakhouse, indeed it would.”

And there you have it. Is there nothing The Rail can’t do?