Christmas Eve at The Brass Rail is a magical time.

Typically all of the riff-raff are out of town, folks bring in food, and one of the most extraordinary things in the entire universe occurs: You get a free drink on Fu Dog. Hot damn!

Well, this particular Christmas Eve was no exception, and you could smell the holiday spirits in the air. (No, that’s not the mensroom.)

So dig this: the lovely Andrea was sitting at the bar having a couple of drinks, chatting it up with the gang, and lo and behold we come to learn that she was laid off that very morning when she came into work. WTF. Who fires somebody on Christmas Eve!? A certain hotel that shall remain nameless. Assholes, that’s who. And to make matters worse, she had actually passed on family plans because her employer claimed they were going to be extra busy over the holidays and need more people. AND THEN SHE GETS SERVED? SERIOUSLY? Oh, Em, Fucking Gee.

But then you’ll never guess what happened. A goddamn CHRISTMAS MIRACLE, I tell you!! Yup — you guessed right: She won a Hamm’s Hat.

Let’s get a closer look at that …

… and this …

Now that’s artwork.

She’s a veritable Ionian column, amirite?

It was such a good hat, it made a beautiful addition to the Rail Hamm’s Hat, that oversees all other hat-making efforts and, well, shenanigans and hi-jinx in general.

Don’t you just love the holidays?

Ted does.

P.S.: Happy Fucking New Year, Bitch-ezzz …

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