Duane Fucking Mills

C'mere, you!

Now Duane’s not much of a beer-drinker … he tends to drink 7-up or some cheap bourbon on the rocks, but he fit right in wearing a Hamm’s Hat on someone’s behalf. It may have been mine, but I don’t really recall. Doesn’t matter though — Duane wears it like a champ.

Ahh, good ol’ Duane. When he’s not “fixing problems” at local sororities, he can typically be found lifting farm-animals with his pinky, or moving four-story buildings an inch to the left with his bulging biceps. I once saw him stop an SUV with his eyelid. Do not mess with this man. Besides, he’s from Evansville, but don’t hold that against him.


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