Diagonal Hat!

So last week Kate was down from Chicago visiting all the fine folks at The Brass Rail. She’s a transport nurse for a children’s hospital, which means she has the pretty awesome job of riding around in ambulances, helicopters, and airplanes (or as they say in the biz: fixed-wing aircraft.)

Semi-related story: A few months ago she was in town describing her new job to some eager listeners, and Keith was within earshot. Eventually the conversation turned silly to the point where it was extrapolated that she was not only a transport nurse, but that she flew around the Chicago metro area in a modified B-17. She was assigned the task of sitting in the ball turret and shooting down enemy aircraft. (Basically, people who don’t want children to get medical care.) Well this piqued Keith’s interest, so he gets up, walks over to Kate, and says:

“Where do you work?”

Ah, Keith.

But I digress: she won a Hamm’s Hat!!!

I got a buck; I got a Hamm's!

And then things, for inexplicable reasons, got more diagonal. I don’t really know what that means.

Ok. Two dollars?

I then took the liberty of taking the upstairs/downstairs Hamm’s 30-pack separator and turning it into a pair o’ specs.

Lookin' gooooood.

Is there nothing a case of Hamm’s can’t do? (Sure — I’ve already asked that question — just trying to drive it home.)

Duane Fucking Mills

C'mere, you!

Now Duane’s not much of a beer-drinker … he tends to drink 7-up or some cheap bourbon on the rocks, but he fit right in wearing a Hamm’s Hat on someone’s behalf. It may have been mine, but I don’t really recall. Doesn’t matter though — Duane wears it like a champ.

Ahh, good ol’ Duane. When he’s not “fixing problems” at local sororities, he can typically be found lifting farm-animals with his pinky, or moving four-story buildings an inch to the left with his bulging biceps. I once saw him stop an SUV with his eyelid. Do not mess with this man. Besides, he’s from Evansville, but don’t hold that against him.