{"id":915,"date":"2013-01-29T19:31:41","date_gmt":"2013-01-30T01:31:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hamms-hat.com\/?p=915"},"modified":"2013-04-20T11:22:50","modified_gmt":"2013-04-20T16:22:50","slug":"breaking-news","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.hamms-hat.com\/?p=915","title":{"rendered":"BREAKING NEWS …"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Say<\/a><\/p>\n

Holy fucking fuck. So I stumbled<\/del> walked into the bar and calmly planted my ass on my favorite stool, ordered my usual, and I hear some words that I pretty much just ignored. I then ordered my usual AGAIN, and once more … I’m hearing just BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH … I mean what the fuck. C’mon, man … Finally, I decide, well, maybe I should actually pay attention to what I’m being told since I still have yet to have a beer in front of me.<\/p>\n

“We have no Hamm’s.”<\/p>\n

“Say what, mother-fucker?”<\/p>\n

“Talk to the distributor.”<\/p>\n

Holy fucking fuck. Yes, I said it again. The Rail is out of Hamm’s. Now you could<\/em> order a buttery<\/a> Hamm’s, but, well, that’s your choice.<\/p>\n

One funny outcome, however, is that River Rat decided to announce this on The Brass Rail, uh, “announcement board” — for lack of a better term — and instead of writing “No Hamm’s”, he wrote “No Hamm’s Hats”. When questioned about this, he thought about it for a second and realized that he just kind of wrote it without thinking about it. I find this amusing and poignant at the same time.<\/p>\n

So there you have it. Stay tuned for further details.<\/p>\n

Or not.<\/p>\n

Oh, and P.S.: New chips. So you got that goin’ for ya.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Holy fucking fuck. So I stumbled walked into the bar and calmly planted my ass on my favorite stool, ordered my usual, and I hear some words that I pretty much just ignored. I then ordered my usual AGAIN, and … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[51,35],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hamms-hat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/915"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hamms-hat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hamms-hat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hamms-hat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hamms-hat.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=915"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.hamms-hat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/915\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1122,"href":"http:\/\/www.hamms-hat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/915\/revisions\/1122"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.hamms-hat.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=915"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hamms-hat.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=915"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.hamms-hat.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=915"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}