Baltimore doing his best impression of a guy wearing a Hamm’s Hat. Talented, eh?
Can you see me now?
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Author Archives: steakhouse
River Rat!
Instead of subjecting you to the possibility of earworms that will burrow deep into your noggin, forcing you to grab the closest meat thermometer, jam it in your ear, and beat it with a mallet, I present to you River Rat.
Insert stupid 80s references here.
Weird Head
Hmmmm …
A quandry indeed, so I kinda went for a Little Bunny Foo-Foo sorta thang. Note the down-turned ear.
A hip, a hop, a hippity hop …
And there you have it.
And while I’m at it, a big congratulatory congratulations to Bandana and Hot Pockets on their beautiful wedding ceremony (clocked in at under fifteen minutes) and reception (clocked in at … uh … I can’t remember.)
Sir Jeff of Decatur
Here we see Jeff from the shire of Decatur, after a long wagon ride thru the black forest of I-72. ‘n shit.
Yes … lift thy visor, and stayest awhile! Mead!? Fuck that shit! … Hamm’s!!
[Ed.: There seems to have been a wardrobe change somewhere in there. Feh. Don’t worry. We’ll take care of it in post.]
Hamm’s Hat Hat.
Here’s Okie wearing his Hamm’s Hat on his Hat Hat. He almost looks like he’s doing one of those tipping of the hat forward kinda moves while cuttin’ a rug on some stage with a cane, a monocle, top-hat, and wing-tipped shoes. Or something like that. Except he’s probably just sitting on a stool. Yeah, that’s it — a stool. This ain’t the Moulin friggin’ Rouge.
Mmmm … yes. Quite.
Because it’s a slow news day, here’s me standing in my lovely friend Karen’s backyard wearing a Shandy Hat. And drinking champagne. Try to get your head around that.
Ozzie? That you?
Here’s Hoss before taking stage at The Rail with his band Fleetwood Mac The Cheaper Hits. He’s got kind of a Hamm’s Cowl going on, no? Now that’s art.
Umm … right.
No comment.
The Happy Couple …
Say hello to the happy couple, Forty and Twizzler. In another episode of “Arts ‘n Crafts w/ Coulter”, we see that he’s made himself a nice smiley Hamm’s Hat. He looks kinda angry though there underneath — or serious — but who can tell.
Ok, I’m sorry to have subjected you to that ugly mug, so here’s his beautiful wife, Twizzler!
I swear it’s a match made in heaven, assuming that match is an attractive young lady, and a pudgy, stout alcoholic who tells dick jokes.
Awwww … wedded bliss.
It keeps getting better and better.
Welcome to August. And what better way to launch the birth of a new month but with one of the best Hamm’s Hats yet to date. I would have never imagined the lengths folks would go to in their quest for the ultimate Hamm’s Hat … I swear the thing has a life of its own.
And so, I present to you, the Hamm’s Hat Hamm’s Hat, lovingly crafted by Hoss himself. He laments that the ‘S’ is backwards, but really. I think we can throw out the opinion of the East German judge and give this one a solid 10, baby!! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to Mickey D’s, down some Buds, and hit up Subway with Apollo Ohgosh.