Ahh, Boilermaker. He’s like a big Teddy Bear. A big Teddy Bear that likes Purdue, Busch Light, and MC’s. What’s an MC, you say? Some might say it’s a Matty Cocktail. Others might say it’s the most vile mixed drink you could imagine. But I’ll leave that to your imagination. Instead, here’s another shot of Matty before he spins around like a top.
He looks like some big elephant that traded in his snout for a sharp set of teef. Whatevs.
Great Lakes asking the bigger questions.
Ahh … Hamm’s Hats. The creativity just keeps on giving. In retrospect, I’m surprised no one thought of this sooner. Submitted by Trent, and that’s apparently Scott’s ass, in case you were wondering.
…
Leave your worries on the doorstep,
Life can be so sweet …
On the sunny side of the street.
Can’t you hear the pitter-pat?
And that happy tune as your step,
Life can be complete …
On the sunny side of the street.
I used to walk in the shade, with my blues on parade.
But I’m not afraid… this rover’s crossed over …
If I never had a cent,
I’d be rich as Rockefeller …
Gold dust at my feet,
On the sunny side of the street.
I guess it goes without saying — if you’re gonna get into a plastic knife fight, bring two Hamm’s Hats. That’ll do the trick. Just sayin’.
[Ed.: What the hell are those red things, anyway? Pepperoni off of a delicious Premium Butch’s Pizza? Mmmmm … Butch’s Pizza.]
Here we see Hoss contemplating the facts. Fucking ponderous, man — fucking ponderous.
Therapy.
You do not wanna fuck with this sweatervest-laden character.
Blurry pizza anyone?
Here’s Kevin as his cherry dost get poppethed.
What a happy guy! End result below:
But wait: Howz he gonna drink that cool refreshing Hamm’s? Answers below:
Yup … with a special cutting tool, he made a little mouth hole for tha sippin’.
Will it work? Let’s see.
I’d say that’s a big 10-4, yo.
Let’s go for a stroll, shall we?
The best part was when the two ladies in the passing pickup truck asked to take Kevin’s picture.
And here’s the lovely Karen sharing her rendition of the Hamm’s jingle …
What a wonderful world.
Say hello to Great Lakes, who was quietly enjoying herself at a certain bar in a certain town deep in the heart of the Midwest.
After a few minor adjustments, she had assembled a very nice looking hat complete with ears and, well, more ears. With grace and dignity, she applied said hat and wistfully picked up her can while gazing off into the distance. This woman means business.
But here’s where things really get interesting. After carefully placing her can back on the bar, she lifted her hat a bit, sat back down on her stool, and stared pensively off into the distance, as if she were … hmmm … thinking about her subjects?
Nefertiti, anyone? Well played, Great Lakes … well played.
UPDATE: Here’s another great photo of Great Lakes, as submitted by Margarita.
Here’s River Rat enjoying a cool refreshing Hamm’s after his hard day of work at The Rail. Yup — we’ve got some fresh meat behind the bar … Cool Whip chose to step down and handed over the venerable reins to this fellow here. What a better way to finish off your shift, then to win a Hamm’s Hat. Is that rewarding or what!? River Rat tweeted (twatted? twitted? who the fuck knows) this pic so you know we’re on board with all the latest kids’ technology ‘n shit.
Dig it.